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This week, Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, has died. Captain America was shot several times by a sniper atop a building adjacent to the Federal Courthouse.
Steve Rogers has been saving Americans as Captain America since 1941 and his death is a tragedy for all. Yet, the question remains: who killed Captain America? We decided to begin investigating the mystery ourselves by speaking with some of Captain America’s close friends.
We stopped by Spiderman’s home where he chatted with us about the life and death of Captain America over several cups of chamomile tea. “It’s got to be a terrorist,” Spidey sighed. “Captain America didn’t have any enemies in the U.S.A, except maybe Barbra Streisand. He and Barbra got into a heated debate nearly every time they saw each other.”
Wolverine has confirmed the hostility between Captain America and Streisand. “Yeah, Streisand and Captain America really hated each other. Once, she threw a lit match at his costume, but the flame blew out in the air.”
“Do you think she was trying to kill him?” CheatCC asked Wolverine.
“I don’t know. At the time, I just thought she wanted to make a scorch mark on his flag pattern, but with everything that’s happened, maybe she was trying to light him on fire,” Wolverine responded, but we couldn’t get any more information out of him as he broke down into tears.
Streisand’s publicist has refused to comment on the accusations, but we will keep you posted as more develops with this story.
*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.