Real World RPGs in the Kingdom of Karnduff*

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It was bound to happen. Role-playing has evolved from people sitting around a table with pen and paper, to teaming up with party members from around the world with the aid of PCs and next-gen consoles. Now role players will be able to burst through the fabric of virtual reality into actual reality and take part in a real life role-playing quest; in the real world, in real time, with real people.

The Kingdom of Karnduff is a role-playing nerd’s dream come true. K arnduff could be called the world’s largest theme park. It encompasses five hundred square miles, 11 villages, a mountain, a forest, five lakes, two rivers, four laundromats, a golf course, and thousands of miles of paths and roadways. This region is located near the vacation resort area of Wisconsin Dells, which calls itself as the Waterpark Capitol of the World. The area’s Chamber of Commerce was able to interest residents in opening their towns to role playing gamers as an opportunity to generate revenue after the mines closed down earlier in the decade.

“We’re very excited to be spearheading such a project,” says Chamber President, Les Izmore. “This is a monumental undertaking. We are literally going to turn these towns into fantasy worlds to attract players from around the world. Locals will dress in costume and stay in character 24/7,” Izmore stated. “Each game is three-and-a-half days long. We will do two a week. We can accommodate up to 100 gamers for each session. Not everyone will get to play the hero. Some will have to play the bad guys, but the key factor is that everyone gets to play. This is going to make Disneyland look like a flea circus,” he concluded.

Touted as a vacation resort, players will pay up to $1000 for an all-inclusive adventure. They will receive their character information via email weeks before their arrival, but they will not be allowed to meet any of the other players in advance to keep the adventure fresh. Players will interact with others in real time. Simulated weapons will be used for combat, which we are assured will be conducted in turn-based fashion for added authenticity. Knowing that many RPG players are overweight and generally out of shape, transportation can be arranged with scooters such as the Segway and various animals such as horses and ostriches may be ridden or used to pull carts.

All players will be tracked by GPS devices so that even if they get lost, the coordinators will know exactly where they are. Villages will supply food, shelter, weapons, armor, information, and characters to interact with. Failure to reach a village before nightfall can result in a player spending the night under the stars. Izmore says that the development committee was able to clear the area of bears and wolves but there is the constant threat of wild, rabid weasels escaping from the nearby cosmetic testing center.

As in real RPGs, players will level-up and display a significant increase in skill. All players’ stats are relayed by the GPS device, which also serves to transmit data to the various checkpoints. This information is then processed so that attacks, healing, and the responses of other characters will reflect your progress.

“Those that don’t fare so well are likely to get killed early in the game,” said Izmore. “Fortunately it’s not game-over for these players. We put them to work as cooks, waitresses, bartenders, and female impersonators. We’ve all got to eat, drink and be Mary,” he added.

*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.