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Few can deny that Disney is getting cooler by the decade. In an effort to expand into new territory, while retaining the wholesomeness of their name, they branched out with Touchstone Pictures. This division allowed Disney to create more mature-oriented movies such as Splash which starred Tom Hanks, John Candy, and a sexy Daryl Hannah. In the animation department, Pixar was created to tackle more mature content in the 90s and hit a homerun with Toy Story. Disney is now poised to tackle the X-rated adult market with plans to release the controversial video game, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, as a full length animated feature under the name of their new company, MatterHorny Inc.
Conker’s Bad Fur Day centers on the exploits of one loveable, furry, filthy, foul, expletive-spewing rodent named Conker. He’s the ultimate animal-with-an-attitude. He’s just as likely to make you laugh as he is to kill you. Is it any reason why everyone loves the little stinker? He’s funny, adventurous, sinful, and definitely not for the entire family – at least that’s what parental advisory groups thought a number of years ago.
“We’re going to change all of that negative attitude,” says Disney spokesperson Duff Reich. “Society is growing up faster every day. What was once taboo is now mainstream. Subject matter on TV is incredibly racy. We at Disney have always been a leader in the entertainment field and when we recognize a trend, we try to capitalize on it and make it look like we started it.”
Asked about the objectional language and subject matter, Reich responds by saying that this is stuff kids talk about everyday, at school and in the malls. He claims that Disney is only giving them what they want. “We aren’t catering to the Amish community, so either come along for the ride or pull your horse and buggy to the side of the road and let the future pass by,” he says.
Stars being considered for the roles include Bob Saget, Penn and Teller, Bea Arthur, and Ron Jeremy as Conker. “We’re really trying to make a statement by going with Ron Jeremy,” Reich states. “We want the world to know that Disney is not afraid of sex. We’re embracing it. In fact, one could say that Ron Jeremy is nothing more than Pinocchio standing on his head, if you want to look at it that way. He is cute and funny. You know, if it weren’t for sex, Disney wouldn’t have a new audience every year.”
It’s unlikely that Conker’s Bad Fur Day will have a General Rating. The movie will be filled with cuss words, sex, violence, and scenes of extremely poor taste. We can hardly wait.
*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.