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In celebration of the upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour, developers Bevanda Games have released a video game in which you guide the hands of fate to derail the girls’ career once and for all. Called The Spice Girls Must be Destroyed, the game allows you to meddle in the girls affairs, giving you numerous options to turn them against each other, or themselves, and end this farce forever.
Yes, it’s true. Posh, Baby, Scary, Sporty, and Ginger are back. But this time there’s one more “Wannabe” added to the list. It’s you, as %&#$-up Spice. As the main accompanying back-up singer to the group, you are let into the girls’ private world where you will wreak your havoc upon them. The trick is to make everything look natural and not get caught. These girls are pretty dumb, so the game is relatively easy. You’ll be given a series of Sim-style options to select in each mission.
By hypnotizing one of the girl’s boyfriends, you can make him hit on another Spice girl, setting off the kind of violent jealously that you thought only existed in video games. You can add hair remover to Baby’s hairspray bottle. Or lace Posh’s designer water with vodka and turn her into a raging alcoholic over time. You can even replace the dressing room mirror with a funhouse mirror making them all look fat. Just imagine the horror of that situation, since a few of them are already a little on the plump side.
Bevanda owner, Bob Zryunkal claims it’s not only all in good fun, but as a way to vent peoples’ anger, it’s a very useful psychological tool. “Just imagine how many people would love to see these no-talent idiots get what’s coming to them,” he says. “They can’t sing. They can’t dance. They can’t act. I think the only thing they can do is %&#$. So that’s why we’re going to help %&#$ them up. It’s great therapy for us older folks, as well as the girls that wasted their money on their CDs a decade ago.”
“We were really debating if we should turn this game into a first-person shooter, but we eventually decided it would be more fun to destroy the girls slowly,” hisses Zryunkal. “It’s much more mean-spirited this way. You actually get to see them lose their dignity over time, which is much more satisfying than an instant bullet to the head.”
Zryunkal says that Bevanda is planning to turn this game into a franchise. He says there is a market for targeting famous people that have absolutely no reason to be famous. New games in the works for next year include: Paris Hilton Must be Destroyed; Nicole Richie Must be Destroyed; Shannon Tweed’s Sister Must be Destroyed, The Loser That Sits Next to Regis Must be Destroyed, and a special anniversary game featuring all of the cast of The View, past and present.
*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.