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In an effort to provide more for their customers, CCC is offering something they hope will be a very cool treat indeed. At a recent board meeting, former CEO of CheatCC Arty Hackery announced that along with cheat codes, reviews, previews, new and histories, the popular website will now be offering 20 different flavors of ice cream. “I brought it up at the meeting,” said a very cheerful Hackery, “All of the managers laughed like crazy, which meant they were really receptive to the idea. When it comes to something like ice cream, everybody is always in a good, laughing mood,” he adds. “They were laughing so hard they asked me to leave. I thought that was great. I really know how to knock ‘em dead.” Hackery claims that video games and ice cream go together like ham and whisky. He says that ice cream is a basic food group, and one that gives players the fortitude to sit nearly motionless for hours at a time. “I always wanted to wear one of those cool looking ice cream hats,” admits Hackery, “Scooping out dollops of Tiger Tiger and Rocky Road is so much more fun than authorizing expenditure reports,” he adds. “Although we are going to limit ourselves to physical outlets at first, such as the CheatCC offices throughout the country, I want to find a way to make the ice cream available through the mail. I can tell you right now that Manilla envelopes don’t work. It leaks right through. Although “Manialla” sounds like the name of a great new flavor,” adds Hackery. “One of the major problems we have is that no one takes Hackery seriously,” an unidentified CheatCC manager confesses. “I mean there’s a reason why he’s the “former” CEO. No one can understand why he keeps hanging around here. Let me tell you this, he suggested that we mail the ice cream in little plastic bags. Of course it will melt, but he says the kids can just put it in the freezer and it will be as good as new in an hour. If that’s not stupid enough he also has suggested the following flavors: Tobacco Road, Rat’s Arse, Feet & Cheese, Gunpowder and Cornstarch, and Reese’s Feces.” When asked why he still shows up to work everyday despite his not actually having a job at CheatCC, Hackery responded by asking our news crew if anyone could fix a bicycle tire, and if we could possibly loan him $12 so that he could finance the last half of his haircut. *This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition. |