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Wall Street Crash in Development*

Wall Street Crash in Development*

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Just in time for the arrival of what’s being called the Greatest Depression, a new gaming concept called Wall Street Crash is in production. The game involves racing a Brinks armored vehicle, loaded with gold, through the narrow corridors of Wall Street. The premise is to “escape from New York” with the loot while avoiding crazed investors and crashing into the concrete walls.

In the immediate future the stock market crash has completely devastated the economy. People’s savings, investments, stocks and bonds have all been devalued. Even hard-core currency has lost its value due to the rampant inflation that will see people bringing in wheel barrels full of cash just to purchase a Chia Pet. The only commodity of any value in the world market is gold – and you’ve got your hands on a truckload of it. Now just try to get out of here without crashing on Wall Street.

Navigating your way through Wall Street is no easy feat. The streets are incredibly narrow and twisty; filled with booby traps and zombie-like stockbrokers that move about with the vacant stare of a veteran Wal-Mart greeter. They will use whatever means necessary to stop you from getting away with the gold, including throwing empty briefcases, worthless portfolios, and Chia Pets. Every crash into a wall on Wall Street will result in damage to your vehicle, and will cost you a gold bar to continue. Weakened armor will make you vulnerable to attacks from the crazed stockbrokers and broken investors. If they can reach into the vehicle they will drag you out screaming, forcing you to listen to a lecture by two midgets about purchasing real estate with no money down.

With the help of the omnipotent Speculator, you may be able to break free from Wall Street. Finding no fuel and the highways unnavigable due to neglect, your only hope is to hop a train filled with hobos and head for the West coast. You’ll only be able to take the gold that you can carry, but you might be able to convince some of the hobos to help carry some for you. But you’ve got to be careful because the smart hobos will likely kill you and take the gold for themselves. To this end you’ll have to enter into conversation and play mini-games with all the hobos in order to separate the morons from the murderers.

“Wall Street Crash combines elements of racing, action, strategy and economic sim,” says developer Billy Binny. “We are hoping to get this game out before the next Black Friday, because after that it’s going to look like a documentary and not a game,” Binny warns. “We know that when the Greatest Depression hits our nation, people will not be able to afford such luxuries as video games and bottled water, so we’re in the process of setting up distribution centers in soup kitchens and Salvation Army outlets,” concludes Binny. “You don’t have to be poor to get a copy of Wall Street Crash, but chances are you’re going to be.”


*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled “Are you dumb enough to believe this?” Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.

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